Ok, so now you can stop bugging me. I’m back on track – this is post number 6. I made up for last week and wrote two this week. Arizona, here I come!
I did this thing. You know what I mean – all of a sudden, I had plunked down my money and it was done. A teeny tiny thought had become an idea, which in turn became a desire, that became action.
So, I got to thinking. How in the world did this happen? It’s been only about 3 weeks max since the first inkling, so it shouldn’t be difficult to cast back in my mind the initial thought that quickly, like a speeding out of control train, ended up with my bank account quite a few dollars shorter than what it had been the moment before I clicked on ‘buy now’.
It was just about seven years ago I left Arizona, fully anticipating returning, if only as a visitor, within a few short years. Well, that didn’t happen, but tons of life did for the next seven years. I went from Arizona to Michigan, my personal Siberia, to help care for my mom with dementia, then down to Florida chasing the heat and sunshine to be close to my son who is in prison.
I think the thought-seed was planted when a co-worker mentioned she was taking her daughter on vacation to Colorado in the summer. She mentioned the Grand Canyon, and I’m pretty positive my brain did that association game. I’d been to the Grand Canyon years before when I owned a condo in Arizona.
The next thing I knew I was googling ‘condos to rent in Fountain Hills’ and checking Travelocity for ticket prices. Just out of curiosity, of course. I got to thinking that IF I were going to go, I’d want to go in April before it got blast-furnace hot, but still good and warm for hiking. My boss okayed the time off, and before I knew it, I had purchased a plane ticket, secured a rental car, and bought a week in a cozy condo.
My excitement was almost uncontainable.
Oh, I should stop here and say that it was just about tax filing time and, based on my last two years’ returns I was quite confident of about how much I’d be getting back.
Oops. Found out that was an incorrect assumption. Yes, I can afford to pay for the vacation, but I really wasn’t wanting to see that much subtracted from my savings. Ah, well. What’s done is done.
Which brings me to the next thing I need to say. This was pretty much totally out of character for me. I tend to be a very cautious person, and quite frugal, so spending the money before actually filing my taxes was not my modus operandi.
Which got me to thinking something else. See how my mind rabbit-trails?
I think God set me up. He wants me to go to Arizona, and He knows that if I waited until I filed my taxes, once I discovered I wasn’t getting more than diddly-squat, I’d nix the Arizona idea altogether.
So now I’ve been looking at condos for sale because real estate is a passion of mine and I’m a realtor.com addict.
I have to reiterate something I’ve been saying for years. For my time in Arizona, God did a special work on my heart that has chained my heart to those mountains and desert as if they were literal chains. I cannot get the feel of the sun on my skin and the evening shadows playing on the mountain faces and the intensity of life in the desert out of my head. I have never wished to be in a place as intensely as I have my mountains and my desert.
As a woman is heartsick over her love to come home, so I’ve been heartsick to go back to the one place where I felt healed and whole. I experienced God there in a way I’ve not anywhere else. I almost touched heaven. How can I not want to go back?
Through the joy and grace I’ve experienced in Florida – and I have learned to love Panama City Beach’s people and the white squeaky sand and the never tiring waves of the ocean a stone’s throw away – I believe the mountains and the desert of Arizona are where my essence still lives, and I want to go back and be reunited with my soul.
Don’t worry, I’ll take lots of pictures. And after a week, I’ll get on a plane and fly back to my life in Florida, where I’ve been gifted with many graces and people I dearly love.
