What introverts need to know

Back to my one post per week cycle.  If you haven’t done so yet, please read about my Arizona journey – I wrote one blog post per day for a week.  Now that I’m back home in Florida, it’s time to get in the groove.  This is post 16 of week 16.

For those who’ve known me for a while, they understand I’m an introvert. If you’ve read much of my blog, I’ll bet you’ve picked up on it, too.

Being an introvert means I prefer my own company. It means I’m just fine being by myself most of the time. It means I avoid groups like the plague.

It also means I’m an HSP – highly sensitive person. I feel and absorb others’ emotions and it gets overwhelming. Hence, the need for solitude to re-group and re-charge.

Some years ago, God put me in sales. Yes, he did. I cried and I begged, but to no avail. Sales is where God wanted me and that’s where I am to this day. Out of desperation and a need to survive, I learned how to sell things by using words. I became good at sales by learning how to connect with my customers. My HSP has come in handy many times over.

I also began to write. It’s cathartic for me and a way to put my thoughts and deepest feelings into words that I, many times, am not able to say out loud. And in order to get better at writing, I began to write articles for newspapers and magazines. In order to do that, however, I needed to conduct interviews with real live people.

A funny thing happened. I got to know all kinds of wonderful people. I wrote articles about recovering addicts and foster families and charitable organizations and rehab centers. I wrote articles about healing from sickness and mission trips and deliverance from a hurricane.

As I interviewed these extraordinary folks, I became connected to them and them to me. I learned about their fears and pain, aspirations and dreams. I learned about their failures and victories. Their stories became a part of me.

I saw one of my story-people today and it was like meeting a long-lost friend. We hugged and made plans to get together. We share something special because I know her in a way most don’t. And I value that knowledge and connection. I feel the same about each and every one of my story-people. They have made me a richer person because of our brief time together.

As an introvert I struggle with feeling inadequate. Over the years there’ve been many instances where I felt so unable to help others in ways many of my friends do on a regular basis. I tend to hide from emotion because it’s scary and I don’t feel in control of the situation. My help is, quite often, given long-distance. Too much emotion sucks the life out of me. I care, but I can’t allow myself to care too deeply for very long.

Sitting at my computer, typing on my keyboard, I feel safe.

But this funny thing happened. It finally occurred to me that God, in making me an introvert, not only knew what he was doing, but planned it on purpose. My way of helping others is just fine with him. As a matter of fact, that’s exactly how he wants me to serve others.

Let me explain. When I write your story and it’s published in a newspaper or magazine, the readers of that publication get to know you, too. Your story touches them in just the way God wanted it to happen. Ripples of eternity begin the moment I hit the ‘send’ button on my email and your story starts its irreversible path of destiny.

My part in the story is short and temporary. But my part is essential, nonetheless.

We all have our roles to play. Never feel like you’re not good enough. As that little boy so many years ago said, ‘God don’t make no junk.’ He designed you with love for a specific purpose. I encourage you to go on an adventure and find out just what that is.

Home

Day Eight.  And thus ends my Arizona journey.  I am thankful.  And I have a cold.

Day Eight: Home

It was going to be warmer today, and sunny, but, alas, I wouldn’t be enjoying much of it. It was time to finish packing and get myself to the airport for the flight home. Goodbye, Arizona! Florida, here I come!

Home. I can have more than one, can’t I?

It ended up being quite a long day, and my cold wasn’t helping. Because of the nasty weather plowing through the Dallas area, where my connecting flight was, my first flight from Phoenix was delayed by about an hour. No problem, because this time I had a 2-plus hour layover and I wasn’t worried about making the second flight.

We arrived in Dallas, then sat on the tarmac for 2 hours waiting to de-plane, 51st in the queue for an empty gate. You’d think that everyone would be ready to get their butts off the plane quickly, but, no. It took an inordinate amount of time for the overhead bins to be emptied and the passengers to get their acts together and their stuff and walk down the aisle and out the door. It’s a good thing the weather also delayed my next flight by an hour, but by the time I had dis-embarked, I was out of time.

I ran to catch my connecting flight.

We arrived in Panama City an hour late, at 10:30pm, and I was ready to be home and in bed. With my cold, my ears had made me excruciatingly aware, on both flights when we descended to a lower altitude, that they were unhappy. I still can’t hear out of my right ear.

Then we all stood around waiting for our luggage to show up on the carousel. Mine didn’t. Neither did about 10 others’ bags. So, we trooped over to the American Airlines counter where only one person was there, and he was definitely not in a hurry to take care of our issues. I timed it. It was about 20 minutes per person. Seriously.   Anyway, my luggage will hopefully appear at some point later this evening (Sunday), since I’m clearly writing this the day after my arrival back in rainy Florida.

Yes, I typed rainy. A very rainy Florida. Where in the world is the sun?

But, enough of my whining. I am home safe and for that I am truly grateful.

I wanted to take a few minutes and re-cap my week in Arizona. My purpose in taking this vacation was two-fold. Since I’m an OCD person and a list-maker, I have a hard time just doing something only for fun. There has to be a purpose in it somewhere or I feel I’m not being the human I should be. Strange, I know.

I knew I needed some time off to just chill and get re-connected and grounded spiritually, and work on my book. And that needed time and space with no interruptions.

It worked perfectly.

The Holy Spirit helped me remember and then memorialize. Going back to the one place where I met God in an extra-special way after seven years of absence was like the reunion with a long-lost love. The years melted away as if they’d never been. The lessons I had learned in my desert wanderings came back to warm my heart.

When I said goodbye to Arizona in 2012, I begged God to let me someday return to live there. The separation has been long and, at times, heart-wrenching. But along the way, in all the towns and cities he has placed me since, I’ve been given grace upon grace, friends, and family, and plenty of peace.

“Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire granted is a tree of life.” Proverbs 13:12.

Arizona, this past week, was a beautiful gift given to me by my Heavenly Father and I will forever be eternally grateful.

Onward and upward!

Almost Goodbye

Day Seven of my Arizona journey.  Bittersweet, to say the least.  What a wonderful week, and  tomorrow I’ll be flying back to Florida, home for now, where so many I love live.  If I could only bring them all with me, it would be perfect!

Day Seven:  Almost Goodbye

This, my last full day here started out slow. I woke up sore and achy and feeling pretty punky. My cold was getting the best of me.   But after a cup of green tea, some scripture reading, and a couple of ibuprofen, life began to look up again.

I was able to go for a nice walk/run about mid-morning when the sun was trying to peek out of the clouds, and I decided it was time, this being my last day here and all, to go to a restaurant for lunch. I sat outside with a book, re-reading one of my favorite gothic romance novels written some decades before, and while I waited for my meal, a little bird kept me company. He would hop close to me, then fly off up to the ledge, then back down to the floor, then back to the ledge. It was obvious he was used to getting his meals there. I left him some crumbled tortillas.

The mountains looked closer today. Maybe because it was cloudy? I’m not sure, but they looked extra awesome, and at my outside table at the restaurant I had a wonderful view of them and the famous fountain when it went off. I didn’t get a chance to drive through the Superstitions this time, but it’s on my list for my next visit. Did I say visit, or did I mean permanent move? Fountain Hills puts on a super cool art fair here every November and February with over 500 vendors over a four day weekend. There are some truly great artists who bring their works of art to sell. Paintings, sculptures, jewelry, art made from discarded metal, water fountains, and a whole lot more. It takes hours just to walk the fair and appreciate what each artist’s booth has to offer. Maybe I’ll come back in November. February isn’t warm enough.

I spent some time tweaking my latest book chapter today, and I’m really pleased at the amount of progress I’ve been able to make this week. My next step is to begin reviewing each chapter, expanding where it’s needed, editing, then organizing them so the order makes sense.

I guess I haven’t said what kind of book I’m writing, have I? It’s a type of memoir, but not entirely. I know my life story isn’t anything spectacular, but it’s mine and some of the lessons God has taught me might just be helpful to somebody else.

Being a writer for newspapers and a magazine, I’ve learned a lot about writing other people’s stories. I’ve learned how to conduct interviews and take that information to put together a factual, and, hopefully, interesting story that will pull in the reader and leave them happy to have read it. And maybe even changed for the better.

This, my first book, will be a huge learning experience I know. I’ve already written some of a second book, so what I learn from this process will help me in the next one.

This entire week has been such a wonderful gift from God, it’s hard for me to find the proper words to thank him, but I am so very thankful.

My flight leaves for Florida on Saturday. Back to work on Monday, and back into my routine. Tomorrow, I’ll tell you about how this all started as I wrap up my phenomenal week in my favorite place ever.

On to the next chapter!