Maintaining my one blog post each week resolution. Here’s lesson two. Imagery is the magic in your writing. Use it well.
What is the secret to great writing? In a word – imagery.
Imagery places your reader right where you want them so you can take them where you want them to go. They need to be able to see and feel what’s going on with your story.
For example, here’s an excerpt from Chapter 1 of Wildfire at Midnight by Mary Stewart, written in 1956:
“Nothing could have been more peaceful. The sea loch itself was one huge bay, an inlet of the Atlantic, cradled in the crescent of the mountains. The fishing village of Elgol, backed by its own heather hills, was within one tip of the crescent; from the other soared sheer from the sea a jagged wall of mountains, purple against the sunset sky. The Cuillin, the giants of the Isle of Mist. And, locked in the great arms of the mountains, the water lay quiet as a burnished shield, reflecting in deeper blue and deeper gold the pageantry of hill and sky. One thin gleaming line, bright as a rapier, quivered between the world of reality and the water-world below.”
She could have said something like this: It was nice and peaceful. The mountains were beautiful, and I was glad I had decided to come. See the difference? Huge, right?
And then another example from Chapter 4 of James Lee Burke’s 1990 novel A Morning for Flamingos:
“So I sat on an iron bench in front of the cathedral in Jackson square and watched the moon rise in the sky. The air was heavy with the smell of camellias, and the magnolia and banana trees that grew along the piked fence behind me made shifting patterns of shadow and light on the cement. A wind came up off the river, and it started to mist; then a shower clattered across the banana leaves in the square and blew in a spray under the lighted colonnades. I walked home on a quiet street, away from the noise of the tourists, keeping close under the scrolled iron balconies to avoid the rain.”
Or he could have said this: As I sat on a bench outside the moon came up and it began to lightly rain so I headed back to my apartment and tried to keep from getting too wet. There’s just no way I would have kept reading this book. What about you?
Both authors used imagery to not only describe the scene but put a feeling in it as well. This is, in my opinion, artistry in writing.
Think about these words Mary Stewart used in her arsenal: ‘cradled, and soared, and jagged wall’. I especially love the phrase – ‘locked in the great arms of the mountains.’ You can see the place, right? And hear the humming peace? I feel like I’m there.
And then James Lee Burke’s description of not just where the character was, but his state of mind. You can feel the uncomfortable misting rain and the melancholy of the character as he sits outside on a hard and uncomfortable bench. Consider these words and phrases: ‘iron bench, piked fence, shifting patterns of shadow and light, a shower clattered.”
Imagery is crucial to setting a scene so that your reader is part of the story. You want them to see and feel and hear, taste and touch everything the character is experiencing.
This is how to keep your reader reading.
Here’s one of my attempts:
The glossy leaves ripple in the wind, dancing on their stems to a gentle song. The beautifully proportioned stately pines, tucked in closely together, create a natural barrier muffling the outside world, granting much wanted seclusion. Cast-off brown needles carpet the ground, softening any footfalls, halting sound.
The warm summer afternoon turns to evening, and as the sun slides toward the horizon, bats emerge to float on the wind for their supper. The blue of the sky changes by degrees to orange and red and then black. The sun’s last light halos the few remaining clouds as a final goodnight. Stars make their grand entrance, showing off for any who choose to gaze on them. Their luminescence in the country-black sky commands you to look and dream.
Peace permeates the scene, like a soft sighing, causing the lights inside the home to appear softer by comparison. Two rocking chairs sit on the deck, with two occupants creating, by their body language, intimacy in the setting. Music drifts through the open door. The two rise and dance slowly, feeling the heat, as it emanates from their skin, awakening their mutual desire.
I’ve read, or attempted to read, books where the author never bothered to describe any of the characters. I didn’t know their hair color, eye color, whether they were tall or short, whether they had an accent, or even where they were from.
Without descriptions and context, the reader can’t imagine with any degree of accuracy anything about your story, and they’ll probably close the book and put it down.
Let me give you one more example. For this short story I was introducing my character to my reader:
He was a well-dressed older gentleman. You could tell his clothes, at one time, had been nicely tailored. They were filthy and ripped now. The fire in the pit had long gone out and the ashes were cold. He had taken a clay pot and thrown it on the ground, its shards scattering. He was sitting in the middle of the ashes searching among the shards. He found one apparently to his liking and picked it up. He stretched out his legs, one at a time, slowly and painfully. Hiking the cloth up past his knee he began scraping open the boils, releasing the pus. His face contorted in a grimace of agony, a groan escaped his parched lips, and tears tracked through the grime on his unshaven cheeks. His breath raggedly caught in his throat and he rocked back and forth, eyes closed, riding out the anguish.
To write with emotion you have to go there in your mind and experience it. Picture yourself in that scene. What does/did it feel like and sound like and smell like? Does/did it make you happy or sad? Angry or determined? I usually close my eyes and imagine myself as the character and then write what I ‘see’ and what I ‘feel’.
I encourage you to pick up a few good books by different authors and begin to dissect them. Do they describe the scenery and the characters? Is there a lot of good dialogue that moves the story forward and reveals more about the characters’ personalities? How did the author make you like or dislike a character?
Here’s some homework for you – pick a scene, something you know really well – and write a descriptive paragraph or two. Let it rest overnight, go back to it, then use the previous lesson’s editing ideas: Writing for Dummies and Smarties, tightening it and making it sing.
Before long, you’ll be writing memorable stories. Stories your reader will want more of.
Have fun!
