by Victoria -

Gulf Coast CAC – part 3

This article was originally published in the Lynn Haven Ledger/Gulf Coast Gazette in November, 2017, as part three of three.

In Panama City, there is a safe place for abused and exploited children to heal.

“The Gulf Coast Children’s Advocacy Center provides resources that are unique from any other not-for-profit agency in our area. Our staff is responsible to provide support, a sense of safety, home, and healing for the too many children and families affected by abuse in a large, six county area.” (CAC white paper)

One of those precious children who might have been lost to her horrific circumstances were it not for CAC, was a little girl named Ann (name changed). She was only 7 years old at the time, and, looking back, her mom saw the signs, but for a while couldn’t bring herself to believe them.   Stacey (not her real name) had been abused, too, many years before, so when she noticed her daughter, Ann, not wanting to take showers, and wetting the bed again, she knew.   There were other signs as well, such as Stacey’s boyfriend wanting to spend more time alone with her daughter, so finally Stacey called the authorities.

After the police brought in Gulf Coast Children’s Advocacy Center to do an interview of her little girl, both Ann and Stacey were placed in therapy that very day. And over the course of the next 5 years, CAC has been right there walking with them. Both mom and daughter were placed in one-on-one therapy for a period of time in order to better assist them with resolving the effects of the trauma. Presently, they’re in group therapy, and at a point in their recovery where they can encourage others.

Stacey remembers their victim advocate helping in so many ways, like setting up day care for her children, moving them to a safe place, and counseling Ann through what would happen in court. The Kid’s Court program was instrumental in helping Ann understand courtroom terminology and procedures, and reducing her stress level, thus making it easier for her to testify in court so that her abuser would be prosecuted and taken off the streets before he could hurt another child.

The CAC has grown since its inception in 2000, and now coordinates their services through different entities under the CAC umbrella. These entities include:

The Child Protection Team
The Sexual Abuse Treatment Program
The Gulf Coast Sexual Assault Program
Family Advocacy
Kid’s Court
The Department of Children and Families
Local law enforcement and the State Attorney’s Office

With CAC working in tandem with local law enforcement and the State Attorney’s office, much progress has been made in the way abuse victims are now treated. Starting with the way law enforcement questions the victim, to the way attorneys handle their cases, and to how the victims are treated in a courtroom. Because the child and their families are already traumatized, CAC works to minimize any additional emotional damage.

Gulf Coast Children’s Advocacy Center’s purpose states it this way: “CAC operates on the fundamental belief that the best interests of the victim should be protected. Gulf Coast Children’s Advocacy Center provides a compassionate alternative to traditional investigations.”

In 2016 there were a total of 4,829 reports of child abuse, abandonment, or neglect, with over 1,939 of those children provided some type of service by CAC.  The percentages are staggering for our area: “37% were alleged victims of sexual abuse, 32% physical abuse, 12% witness to violence, 15% drug endangered, 7% from other maltreatments such as mental injury.”

How can we stop this, you want to know? There are many ways. The CAC provides our local schools with child abuse prevention materials, and since January of this year more than 60 children have come forward, disclosing some form of abuse. In addition, the CAC partners with businesses and conducts fundraisers to raise awareness and to provide much needed funding.   They also have monthly open houses at their facilities in Panama City, and encourage local residents to discover for themselves the tremendous work being done for our children.

You can find out more about the CAC by visiting their website at: www.gulfcoastcac.org, or their Facebook page at Gulf Coast Children’s Advocacy Center Events.

For Ann and Stacey, and countless more, the free assistance they’ve received over the years has made the difference in their lives between basic survival and thriving.  Ann is a testament to the healing power of the CAC’s assistance, and she has become an advocate herself, by speaking openly at her school assembly, and requesting her school hand out teal ribbons to bring awareness, in the hopes that children in the future will be spared what she had to endure.

If you suspect a child is being victimized or abused, please call the hotline at: 1-800-96-ABUSE. You might just save a life.

by Victoria -

Gulf Coast CAC – part 2: Sexual Assault Program

This article was originally published in the Lynn Haven Ledger/Gulf Coast Gazette in October, 2017 as part two of three.

My name isn’t really Mary, but I need to stay safe, so that’s as good a name as any for this story. In the Spring of this year I was the victim of a sexual assault. But I put on denial as a cloak. At least at first. And there’s a big problem with denial, because it’s tricky in the way it keeps you from facing what’s really going on.   If you continue in your denial, it tells you, the abuse can’t hurt you.

Then it happened a second time. I was reeling emotionally, and my brain spun out of control. The emotional toll it took on me and my child was horrific. I found myself homeless and suicidal. And I knew I couldn’t continue on this path. My precious child deserved better, and so did I.

I used Google, looking for help of some kind, and found Gulf Coast’s Sexual Assault Program. Out of my desperation, I called the 800 hotline number, and suddenly knew we were going to be ok. Because of my particular situation, I was afraid to go to the police, but when I reached out to the Rape Crisis Center, I was given the resources I needed to get over my emotional hurdle and begin the slow healing process.

Victim advocates have helped me with housing, accompanied me to the hospital, they’ve spoken with detectives on my behalf, and so much more. These wonderful victim advocates at the Rape Crisis Center know the steps to take and they help orchestrate everything to ease your burden.

Many times, as victims, we tend to think we have to go through it all alone, but we don’t. There’s a phenomenal resource available with caring individuals who will come alongside and walk your lonely, dark road with you. And it’s all free of charge.

Since July of 2015, the Gulf Coast Sexual Assault Program has been available for any survivor of sexual assault regardless of age or length of time since the assault or trauma occurred.   It doesn’t matter whether it happened last night or decades ago. And all services are provided at no cost. Our 24-hour hotline number is: 866-218-4738.

“Since the inception of the program in July of 2015 there have been over 200 calls to the Rape Crisis Hotline. Of those callers, many have received direct services by a victim advocate.”

The Gulf Coast Sexual Assault Program provides medical exams, psychological assessments, victim support services, and therapy, such as support groups, that are facilitated by victim advocates. These are open support groups and usually include some type of activity, like baking. Their purpose is to help victims of sexual assault work through the process and be supportive of them. Many relationships and bonding occur in these groups and then these groups, in turn, develop their own outreach to others.

Gulf Coast CAC and the Sexual Assault Program have seen positive transformative changes in the way victims of sexual assault are seen and treated from the local prosecutor’s offices, to local law enforcement. Victim advocates are also at times given the opportunity to do ride-alongs with the police.

Every month Gulf Coast CAC holds an Open House at their facilities where the public is invited to come and see the vital work that’s being done and the lives that are being rescued. Their next Open House will be held at noon on Friday, October 27th, at both locations, 310 and 210 E 11th Street, respectively, in Panama City. We welcome you to stop by, and then help spread the word.

Every April is Sexual Assault Awareness month and Child Abuse Awareness month, and Gulf Coast CAC is looking for additional Community Partners to help increase awareness. One of the wonderful aspects of these partnerships is that they are not costly to your business.   There are different ways for you to become a Community Partner, and one easy way is to paint your door teal for the month of April. For retail businesses, you can display teal cut-out ‘ribbons’ on your windows showcasing the caring residents who have donated to the cause, like Sugar Boogers, located on Harrison in Panama City, will be doing.

“But…as bad as it was, I learned something about myself. That I could go through something like that and survive.” Nicholas Sparks

But it’s always a lot easier when you have an organization set up and run, and filled with caring advocates who stand ready and willing to bring you out of your nightmare and into the light of day.

Now that you know more about the Gulf Coast Children’s Advocacy Center and the Sexual Assault Program, you can help victims of sexual abuse. Remember the hotline number: 866-218-4738, tour their next Open House on October 27th, and if you’re a business owner, partner with them to paint the town teal for the month of April. You can visit their website at: gulfcoastcac.org or give them a call for more information at: 850-872-7760. And remember, because Gulf Coast CAC is a non-profit organization, they survive on your donations and fund-raisers to bring comfort and assistance to victims of sexual abuse at no cost to them.

There’s a whole lot of hurting out there. Help Gulf Coast CAC and the Sexual Assault Program make a difference for all victims of sexual abuse, and help us find a way to end the cycle of abuse for good.

by Victoria -

When our hearts fall down

This article was originally published in the Lynn Haven Ledger/Gulf Coast Gazette, September 2017 after Hurricane Irma in Faith and Inspiration.

Years ago I had an elderly friend from Alabama. I grew up in Michigan, so her euphemisms were cute and, usually, right to the point. If I were going to say to you right now, hey, would you like me to tell you about Harvey and Irma and how neighbors helped neighbors and strangers helped strangers?

She would say – “That’s what I KNOW!”

So, yeah, that’s exactly what you already know.

I’ve been re-reading one of my favorite books over the past few days. We’ll it’s actually two books. The first book followed by the sequel. The first book ends on a heightened note of destruction and despair, leaving you with dropped jaw and tears in your eyes, and the second book ends on a note of hope and deliverance, giving you that warm, fuzzy feeling most of us enjoy. These are the stories I love to read about. Stories with, if not a happy ending, one full of hope for the future.

And that’s what happened with Harvey and Irma. The hurricanes, after finally blowing themselves out, ended their stories on a note of destruction and despair, and now we’re just beginning the sequel that is full of hope and deliverance.

For example, fishing boats with regular guys searching the flooded streets of Houston for the stranded and bedraggled in need of rescuing. First responders driving up and down the streets before the storm sounding the alarm. Helicopters hovering over flooded houses, lowering life-saving ropes to waiting hands and terrified hearts. Convoys arriving with much needed food and water, blankets and medicine. Everyday people grilling hotdogs on the side of I-75, handing out the food for free to evacuees heading for safety.

Homes and businesses destroyed, the newly homeless surveying the damage and wondering when and if they will ever be whole again.

My Facebook feed was filled with expressions of encouragement, prayers lifted, and offers of help.

And to top it off, today is September 11th. Remembering the day we lost almost 3,000 of our fellow Americans in three terrorist attacks. And on a personal note, yesterday was the first anniversary of my momma’s death. We’re feeling a little battered and beat up today, aren’t we?

It’s raining outside as I sit at my dining room table typing this article. We could think of the rain as symbolic of the tears cried for the lives and property lost. We could think of it as symbolic of God washing everything clean, like a new start.

One Facebook post I read went something like this: Instead of praying for me, why don’t you actually give me what I need?

Most of the commenters responded with statements like: Yeah, people only pray to make themselves feel better.

Which made me sad, so I responded that, yes, I believe prayer is very powerful, but I also believe that when you see someone in need, you don’t need to pray about it, just provide it. Which opened up a whole discussion about prayer and whether it’s really effective or not.

Well, I’m not a theologian, so all I could tell them was that I know prayer is powerful because I’ve experienced God’s intervention many times and encouraged them to talk to God themselves.

But you know what? It seemed like I was beating my head against a wall with my words. Tragedy breaks us and re-shapes us. It’s up to us to decide what we’re being re-shaped into. We can look at coming destruction and pray, or we can shake our fist at God in anger.

One thing is certain, though. The sequels filled with hope and deliverance overcoming all odds are the best stories and the ones we remember most, and the ones we re-read over and over again, especially when our hearts fall down.

The books I’m re-reading feature the Bushmen of South Africa, and other tribes of many years ago. The Bushmen have a rich history full of stories passed down from generation to generation, and their way of speaking is beautifully poetic. They have a connection with the earth and living things because of their nomad way of life, and they understand the cycle of life and death. At the end of the first book, Xhabbo, the Bushman friend, was giving comfort to Nonnie, whose father had been brutally killed, along with scores of others.

“Xhabbo knew that the stars who hide in light as other things hide in darkness were there to see all today. For the stars do fall in this manner when our hearts fall down. The time when the stars also fall down is while the stars feel that our hearts fall over, because those who had been walking upright, leaving their footprints in the sand, have fallen over on to their sides. Therefore the stars fall down on account of them, knowing the time when men die and that they must, falling, go to tell other people that a bad thing has happened at another place.” ( A Story Like the Wind, by Laurens Van Der Post)

Even though we can’t see the stars for the clouds and rain, God, who made the stars and the clouds and even the hurricanes, sees all, and loves us. And I know that he is pleased to see his children being neighbors to those in need, no matter their station in life.

As Jesus said, the second greatest commandment is this – to love your neighbor as yourself.

The beautiful and uplifting stories being written in the aftermath of Harvey and Irma will be told and re-told for years to come, bringing encouragement and strength to our hearts when they fall down, reminding us that life, though difficult, is full of light and love and hope.