Post number 3 for 2019. Keeping my commitment to publishing one post each and every week.
The trip back was uneventful. Easy drive to the airport. Easy going through security. No delays in boarding. I did, though, get a pretty good picture of the sunset over the Panama City Beach area from the airplane window, but the window had large scratches in it, so the picture looks fractured. The colors, though, are still phenomenal.
I’ve been trying to do a better job of ‘being there’ for others. I’m an extreme introvert, and I do mean extreme. My own company is usually preferred over any other, although I enjoy people just fine. Just in small doses.
Sometimes I do a pretty good job of ‘being there’ and sometimes I really suck at it. I’ve ‘adopted’ a young man who is the same age as my son and we’re pen pals. We’ve been writing back and forth, and now emailing for about 4 years now. He has a little less than 2 years remaining on his prison sentence, and he’s rightfully excited about getting back to having a life again and being a contributing member of society. He’s witty, highly intelligent, and growing in his faith.
I put money on his account periodically, since I know he has very little family who help him, and he always thanks me and shows appreciation for the correspondence and monetary assistance. I think I actually get more enjoyment out of the relationship than he does. It truly makes me feel like I’m making a difference in someone’s life.
More than 20 years ago I began sponsoring children through Compassion International, and I still have one little boy named Jose I sponsor. I write him letters when I remember, which isn’t anywhere near often enough, I’m sure. A few times over the years it was touch and go whether I could continue in my support because I had lost my job a couple of times and finances were pretty tight especially when I had resigned my position and moved back in with my parents to help take care of my mom who had dementia. But God was faithful, and allowed me to continue sending the much needed money to provide for these impoverished children, to give them a real chance at life and to give them the opportunity of hearing the good news of the Gospel.
I’ve also been able, here and there, to take food to needy folks and pay for bus tickets and plane tickets, and meet other needs as I’ve become aware of them.
But in between those times, I can be quite selfish and allow myself to become very isolated. I read books and listen to sermons and feel like I’m just not as good as these Super Christians. I make mistakes and screw things up and get way too upset at other drivers.
Some days I just don’t understand why God still loves me.
Just like that picture out of the plane’s scratched window revealing God’s gorgeous sunset, when we allow God to use us, even though our imperfections show, the beautiful colors show even more. Isn’t it a comfort to know our Heavenly Father uses us – His fractured and imperfect children – to spread the good news to other fractured and imperfect people?
