Lesson Two: Imagery – make your writing memorable

Maintaining my one blog post each week resolution.  Here’s lesson two.  Imagery is the magic in your writing.  Use it well.

What is the secret to great writing? In a word – imagery.

Imagery places your reader right where you want them so you can take them where you want them to go. They need to be able to see and feel what’s going on with your story.

For example, here’s an excerpt from Chapter 1 of Wildfire at Midnight by Mary Stewart, written in 1956:

“Nothing could have been more peaceful. The sea loch itself was one huge bay, an inlet of the Atlantic, cradled in the crescent of the mountains. The fishing village of Elgol, backed by its own heather hills, was within one tip of the crescent; from the other soared sheer from the sea a jagged wall of mountains, purple against the sunset sky. The Cuillin, the giants of the Isle of Mist. And, locked in the great arms of the mountains, the water lay quiet as a burnished shield, reflecting in deeper blue and deeper gold the pageantry of hill and sky. One thin gleaming line, bright as a rapier, quivered between the world of reality and the water-world below.”

She could have said something like this: It was nice and peaceful. The mountains were beautiful, and I was glad I had decided to come.  See the difference? Huge, right?

And then another example from Chapter 4 of James Lee Burke’s 1990 novel A Morning for Flamingos:

“So I sat on an iron bench in front of the cathedral in Jackson square and watched the moon rise in the sky. The air was heavy with the smell of camellias, and the magnolia and banana trees that grew along the piked fence behind me made shifting patterns of shadow and light on the cement. A wind came up off the river, and it started to mist; then a shower clattered across the banana leaves in the square and blew in a spray under the lighted colonnades. I walked home on a quiet street, away from the noise of the tourists, keeping close under the scrolled iron balconies to avoid the rain.”

Or he could have said this: As I sat on a bench outside the moon came up and it began to lightly rain so I headed back to my apartment and tried to keep from getting too wet.   There’s just no way I would have kept reading this book. What about you?

Both authors used imagery to not only describe the scene but put a feeling in it as well. This is, in my opinion, artistry in writing.

Think about these words Mary Stewart used in her arsenal: ‘cradled, and soared, and jagged wall’. I especially love the phrase – ‘locked in the great arms of the mountains.’ You can see the place, right? And hear the humming peace? I feel like I’m there.

And then James Lee Burke’s description of not just where the character was, but his state of mind. You can feel the uncomfortable misting rain and the melancholy of the character as he sits outside on a hard and uncomfortable bench. Consider these words and phrases: ‘iron bench, piked fence, shifting patterns of shadow and light, a shower clattered.”

Imagery is crucial to setting a scene so that your reader is part of the story. You want them to see and feel and hear, taste and touch everything the character is experiencing.

This is how to keep your reader reading.

Here’s one of my attempts:

The glossy leaves ripple in the wind, dancing on their stems to a gentle song. The beautifully proportioned stately pines, tucked in closely together, create a natural barrier muffling the outside world, granting much wanted seclusion. Cast-off brown needles carpet the ground, softening any footfalls, halting sound.

The warm summer afternoon turns to evening, and as the sun slides toward the horizon, bats emerge to float on the wind for their supper. The blue of the sky changes by degrees to orange and red and then black. The sun’s last light halos the few remaining clouds as a final goodnight. Stars make their grand entrance, showing off for any who choose to gaze on them. Their luminescence in the country-black sky commands you to look and dream.

Peace permeates the scene, like a soft sighing, causing the lights inside the home to appear softer by comparison. Two rocking chairs sit on the deck, with two occupants creating, by their body language, intimacy in the setting. Music drifts through the open door. The two rise and dance slowly, feeling the heat, as it emanates from their skin, awakening their mutual desire.

I’ve read, or attempted to read, books where the author never bothered to describe any of the characters. I didn’t know their hair color, eye color, whether they were tall or short, whether they had an accent, or even where they were from.

Without descriptions and context, the reader can’t imagine with any degree of accuracy anything about your story, and they’ll probably close the book and put it down.

Let me give you one more example. For this short story I was introducing my character to my reader:

He was a well-dressed older gentleman. You could tell his clothes, at one time, had been nicely tailored. They were filthy and ripped now. The fire in the pit had long gone out and the ashes were cold. He had taken a clay pot and thrown it on the ground, its shards scattering. He was sitting in the middle of the ashes searching among the shards. He found one apparently to his liking and picked it up. He stretched out his legs, one at a time, slowly and painfully.   Hiking the cloth up past his knee he began scraping open the boils, releasing the pus. His face contorted in a grimace of agony, a groan escaped his parched lips, and tears tracked through the grime on his unshaven cheeks. His breath raggedly caught in his throat and he rocked back and forth, eyes closed, riding out the anguish.

To write with emotion you have to go there in your mind and experience it. Picture yourself in that scene. What does/did it feel like and sound like and smell like? Does/did it make you happy or sad? Angry or determined? I usually close my eyes and imagine myself as the character and then write what I ‘see’ and what I ‘feel’.

I encourage you to pick up a few good books by different authors and begin to dissect them. Do they describe the scenery and the characters? Is there a lot of good dialogue that moves the story forward and reveals more about the characters’ personalities? How did the author make you like or dislike a character?

Here’s some homework for you – pick a scene, something you know really well – and write a descriptive paragraph or two. Let it rest overnight, go back to it, then use the previous lesson’s editing ideas:  Writing for Dummies and Smarties, tightening it and making it sing.

Before long, you’ll be writing memorable stories. Stories your reader will want more of.

Have fun!

Wings

Here’s another excerpt from my upcoming book.  From deep desire to reality.

The time I’ve spent
The words I’ve used
Were all for you,
Were all for you.

I watched and waited for my star to rise,
I searched the horizon long,
My ship it hasn’t come.

Did I not wait long enough?
Was I not good at scanning the distant shore?
Where did I fail you?

An unfinished symphony it’s said is life,
My heart aches to hear the chorus
My ears strain to catch the melody.

Did I make too many mistakes?
Did you get tired of waiting for me?
Have you set me aside, unused and forgotten?

Then why have I felt a stirring in my heart of late
A restlessness of spirit
A deep desire to stretch my wings and fly

But where are my wings?
I don’t see them
I don’t see them
But I want to fly!

I walk through my days unseen it seems
Unknown
Just one of many
No one special
No one with something extraordinary to give
Won’t someone see in my eyes
That I can be
I can do
So much more
So much more.

But you have to see me
How can I make you see me?
Won’t someone see me

What is this sprouting from my back
Can they be the wings I’ve longed for
When shall I fly
Where shall I fly

Command me and I’ll go
Speak the words and I’m there
Spirit me away to new places
New hearts
Open hearts

I awake
Where have you sent me
Let my burning heart proclaim
To all who will hear
Words of life
Words of love
Words of peace

Ow! Something hurts
My wings they bleed
But they still carry me
All I ask is that they still carry me
I can endure the pain
I see the distant horizon
Send me again

To serve my King
Is all I desire
My heart is full
Overflowing
Let me burn out for you

Thank you for my wings

Writing for Dummies and Smarties

I got behind by a couple of days, but here I am back on track!  Here’s lesson one in Writing for Dummies and Smarties.  A few helpful tips.

I kind of forgot about writing the next blog post. I say kind of because that’s true. I remembered late and then was not motivated enough to write. I opted, instead, to re-watch one of my favorite TV shows that is now off the air. So, like I said – I kind of forgot.

But I got to thinking just a while ago. Not that I’m some famous author, at least not yet, but I’ve learned a few things about writing over the years some of you aspiring authors might find helpful in your own struggles to make your words work.

Consider this lesson one of Writing So Well Your Readers Will Keep Reading. And, no, this isn’t one of those sales pitches where you keep scrolling and reading and scrolling and reading until you finally get to the end where they tell you – “for a limited time you can get this course for ONLY …”  Nope.

Let me ask – do you have difficulty making your words and sentences flow? Are your paragraphs clunky and wordy and unwieldy? Does your writing only tell the story? Many writers struggle with these same problems. So, let me help you.

As the old adage goes – practice makes perfect. Well, we all know it won’t make us perfect, but practice will definitely make you a whole lot better. And if, while you’re practicing you know how to arrive safely at your destination, it makes the practice much more effective.

As any editor will inform you – the first draft is going to be crappy. Write it anyway. There’s your starting point. Making the prose flow comes later. Just sit down (or stand if you want) and begin to write. For me, if I’m writing for fun, when I place my fingers on the keyboard, I don’t always know what I’m going to write or where it’s going to end up. I think that makes writing exciting. My brain takes over without my express direction and we go to some pretty magical places.

So just write and don’t worry about sentence structure. Get the bones of the story or the facts of the article, whatever it is you’re writing, down first. You edit only after you’ve labored and pushed out your first draft.

When I edit, I read out loud. Any awkward or wordy sentences will become immediately apparent. I then excise those unnecessary words and rearrange the rest until I’m satisfied with the finished product.

I’ve written many articles for newspapers and conducted plenty of interviews. When I’m ready to write the article, I put my handwritten notes next to my computer, turn on the recording of the interview, and type as my interviewee talks. I type a lot of what they say verbatim, which works great for quoting. I create many short paragraphs as I type – sometimes each sentence gets its own paragraph.

Once the recording is finished, I review my handwritten notes and add more to the typed page.

Now I’m ready to begin actually assembling the article. I read it through as I’ve typed it, then go back and move things around, cleaning up grammar and sentence structure at the same time. This can take several passes before I’m happy. Don’t be afraid to pull out a thesaurus.

Once I’m comfortable with the thought progression of the article, I go back again, reading it more slowly, focusing on several things:

How well does the story flow

Is it a manageable length with no repeating ideas or wordiness

What feelings am I evoking in the reader

If I have enough time, I like to set the writing project aside for a few hours or a day or even two before I revisit it with fresh eyes. You’ll be amazed at what you see the next time around that you completely missed before. Edit, clean up, and rearrange as necessary until either you’re pleased with the result or you have to send it off to the publisher, whichever comes first.

A story moving in a specific direction without extra words slowing it down makes for good reading. A story evoking targeted feelings in the reader makes for memorable reading.

Here’s an example of an article I wrote for the local newspaper about Camp Helen State Park.

This is what I had to keep in mind while writing the article:

Length – maximum words allowed

Interesting facts – history and present

Evoking feelings so my reader will want to visit

In the next lesson, we’ll talk about Evoking Emotion.