by Victoria -

Dreams and visions

This was written by  Steve Brown in 2016, on a day when he was praying and meditating.  Used with permission.  You can read about his battle with Leukemia here.

I had a vivid dream the other the day, and in this dream I saw a man walking. He was a person like me and you. But then something began to happen to him. His flesh began to melt away, and his body began turning black. His body became all black except in some areas there were holes, and a bright light shone out of them.

As I kept looking at the body the black areas began to turn red and thorns began to sprout out of the red places where his skin once was. Then chains began to form and hooked themselves to the thorns, and the chains stretched behind this man and lay on the ground.

Attached to the chains were blocks of different sizes and each block had letters on it. I could not read the writing on the blocks. The chains and blocks were black and crimson and varied in size and length.

Then a cross began to be etched in the man’s back, but it was only a partial cross, the whole cross wasn’t etched into his body. In his right hand was a book that shone a bright, projected beam of light, but it also had blood dripping from it. Then a bright light shone from the heavens and covered the whole scene.

I prayed and asked God to reveal to me the meaning of the dream, and the next night he gave me the answer. In this dream a man as bright as the sun came to me and said do not look upon me – it is not time yet. He told me this man I saw in the dream was me as I am now. He said for me to listen carefully and to digest every word that came from his mouth.

He said I used to be dark and black with sin but then I was saved and born again by the blood of the Lamb and his Holy Spirit. He said the red areas on my body are his cleansing blood that cover a multitude of sins, and the light shining out of my body is the light of his Holy Spirit that now resides in me.

He went on to tell me that the thorns are my weakness in the flesh I have not been willing or able to overcome. He told me these will to continue to cause me much pain if I don’t pull them out. He said the chains are the attachments that I have to the world and to certain sins. He said I will never be the effective Christian that I’ve been called to be as long as I allow these to bind me.

The blocks, he said, were weights with the names of the particular sins I have allowed to weigh me down, such as lust, greed, and pride. He said there are other thorns, chains, and blocks far behind you on this path that you can’t see, and these are the ones you have overcome by the blood of the Lamb and your testimony.

The cross on you is only partially etched because it hurt, and you could not bear the pain. The bright light that shone from Heaven is the Father’s light that is talked about in 1st John in which you walk every day.

The book in your right hand is the Bible that flows with my blood from cover to cover and the words are a light unto your path. Farther up the path is a new body and peace and perfection you have never known, but just had glimpses of here in your walk.

Then there is also the Father, and I who will be waiting for you. So, put this world and its enticements behind you, cut loose from the sins that so easily beset you. Take up your cross fully. It may hurt but it will only be for a little while, and take my yoke upon you, for it is easy and my burden is light.

Don’t ever forget that you are our child, and nothing can ever take you from us, not even Satan himself because you have been sealed to the day of redemption and your name is written in the Lamb’s Book of Life.

We love you, God speed my child.

Pressing on, Steve Brown

by Victoria -

The Least of These

Originally published in The Lynn Haven Ledger/Gulf Coast Gazette in July 2018 as a spotlight on a local eye technician who travels to Uganda and South Sudan treating eye diseases and bringing the Good News of the Gospel of Jesus.

Here in America we’ve not been too happy with our health insurance as of late. Premiums are too high and the deductibles have skyrocketed. Good eye care and dental care can get very expensive as we seek to purchase the latest and greatest contact lenses and fancy glasses frames and bleach our teeth to make our smiles sparkle extra bright.

Larry Morris is a native of Panama City, and a Certified Ophthalmic Medical Technologist. He graduated from the University of Florida’s College of Medicine in 1992 and obtained his national level Medical License.

One day, about 3 years ago, he was examining a patient who shared a need. Someone with Larry’s skillset was needed in Uganda and his patient asked him if he would come with him on a medical mission. Since then, Larry has been back to Uganda about 5 times where he performs eye surgeries, helps locate potable water, teaches hygiene, and, most importantly, shares the Good News of the Gospel with the villagers.

Cataracts and Trachoma are the main conditions Larry treats while he’s there. Trachoma is the leading cause of blindness in the world, and in third world countries where there is no medical treatment of any kind available it’s a huge problem. Conjunctivitis in one eye, left untreated, often spreads to the other, and, over time, blindness results.

While Larry is there, he sets up a temporary clinic where he performs cataract surgeries, removes foreign bodies from eyes, growths from eyelids, and treats Trachoma.

Because of the poor hygiene issue, he also shows the Ugandans how to make soap from animal fat and ashes, how to wash their faces, and safe food handling and preparation. He told me that in Uganda they grow many different types of fruit that are healthy and good to eat, but you should never accept an already cut up piece of fruit. When I asked him why, he told me “they may use the same knife they just cut off the head of a chicken with, and then turn around and use it to slice fruit.”

But that is Uganda. This past May, Larry journeyed for the first time to South Sudan’s refugee camp at the UN’s express invitation. And it was an experience unlike any other he’d had up to this point, and he thought he’d already had some pretty intense experiences.

“The first thing that hits you is the 115 degree temperature, and then the stench. You look around and everything is burned and torn down and riddled with bullet holes.” South Sudan in the UN refugee camp in Malakal was one of his most difficult missions to date. Once you reach the camp, “the sounds hit you. There are people everywhere screaming, and weeping, and wailing.” There’s a lot of violence in the camp with the air itself feeling electrically charged with volatility.

You might wonder how he was able to afford such a trip? The UN footed part of the bill into South Sudan, with the remainder covered by friends and colleagues with a generous heart. His employer at Eye Center of North Florida has provided supplies, equipment, and sponsorship many times. It’s very difficult to get from Juba, the largest city in the Republic of South Sudan to Malakal where they did their work. You have to have a letter of invitation to get in, such as from the UN, World Health Organization, Samaritan’s Purse, or Doctors without Borders. You have to come in under an NGO – non-governmental organization, or you may be killed outright. Although, having the official papers don’t guarantee your safety.

Once on site, the workers are put up in a separate part of the camp, where it’s relatively safe as long as they don’t venture out on their own.   Where Larry stayed they were provided running water, although not water you’d want to drink, and a commode, and a very rudimentary shower. They also cook for you and the food is served at specific times, so if you aren’t there when it’s ready, you’re out of luck. They serve a lot of goat soup, rice, and potatoes. I asked Larry if they were able to raise any animals or grow crops. “No,” he told me. “Everything is brought in. It’s a desert.”

There are many tribes represented in the refugee camp, and violence can erupt at any time, so there are guards stationed throughout the camp from every country on earth. Sometimes their authority is recognized and sometimes it’s not.

Larry set up his equipment in a tent using a generator for power, and proceeded to perform over 200 surgeries. Because of the time constraint and limited supplies there is a finite number of surgeries they can do.   Since all of the equipment is run by generator, it can get difficult to keep everything all powered up. Sometimes, right in the middle of a surgery, the generator goes out and everything shuts down. “It gets very interesting,” Larry said.

I asked him what he took away from this unique mission trip. “We are a very blessed people. A lot of people just don’t see how blessed we are. The access here is so different from there. There is nowhere for them to go. We stay focused on what we can do because it’s easy to get overwhelmed.”

I also asked Larry how the people he was able to help responded. “They are genuinely grateful. They’ll even kneel down and hug your feet.”

I mentioned earlier that for Larry’s most recent trip, and because he was expressly invited by the UN, they paid for a portion of the expenses. In order for Larry to go on any of these missions of mercy, it costs money, and he’s grateful for all his colleagues, friends, and family who’ve become sponsors to make these trips possible.

In our world, we stress over how long we’ll be sitting in traffic in our air conditioned car. In other worlds mothers and fathers stress over their children’s suffering, knowing they have no place to go for help, and no funds with which to pay for their treatment. We could use more servants like Larry who are willing to be the hands and feet of Jesus in some of the most inhospitable places on earth.

“Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” Matthew 25:40

by Victoria -

Arizona Grace

It’s still difficult to adequately describe just what it was like living in Arizona for four years.  So many experiences and so much spiritual growth happened during that time in my desert.  An intense longing to go back  and re-live each day filled my heart for a long time, until I finally realized something important.  That was my training ground for now.  I can’t go back, only forward.

Arizona, for me, is a magical place. The topography is so different from anywhere else I’ve ever been. The desert and the mountains. Beautiful and treacherous all at the same time. Rocks and sand and scant shade. Life showing up where you least expect it. Cactus flowers blooming with grace and vibrant color in the intensely blinding sun and suffocating heat.

I would have to say for the majority of my time in Arizona my heart was at peace and calm and I was pretty much stress-free. Unrushed. My God-taught lessons were interspersed with periods of rest where I knew myself to be tenderly watched over and protected and provided for.

This particular post has been more difficult than usual to write because I don’t remember so many specific stories as much as I remember how it felt during my sojourn there. But I can go back in my mind and remember the days filled with rest.

However, I do remember several stories I’d like to share.

I had my morning routine. And because I have OCD tendencies, I always put my keys in the same place. On the side table near the front door. Because then I would know where they were.   All you other OCD readers will understand.

And, getting ready to walk out the door for work, I had four things I always, always, always, had with me – and in a specific hand. Like I said – routine.

On my right shoulder was my purse. In my right hand was the handle of my rolling bag. In my left hand was my cup of coffee, and my keys (well the key ring was on my finger). This was etched in stone. I never wavered or walked out the door until I had these four things.

This particular morning, I did everything the same. Or so I thought.

I checked to make sure the windows were locked. I checked to make sure the sliding glass door was locked. I walked out the front door and it locked behind me.

Suddenly I experienced that awful sinking feeling. You know the one I mean. I looked down at my left hand and discovered I didn’t have my keys.

I looked in the window of the sliding glass door and saw them right where I always placed them – on the small table.

Unreachable.

Of course, I instinctively turned the front door knob. Locked. I tried the sliding glass door. Locked. I looked at the windows. Locked.   I tried the doors again. Still locked.

What to do? “Ok, God”, I said. “I need some help here, please.”

I stood there, looking at my locked front door, my brain spinning around like a hamster on a wheel as the seconds ticked by and my stress level rose.

A voice whispered in my ear – “try the sliding glass door again”.

“But I’ve already tried it twice! It’s locked!”

“Try it anyway”.

So, I did. And it opened. Quite easily. I stood there on the threshold, rooted in place, uncomprehending, looking at the keys across the room on the table when the voice spoke again – “now, Victoria, we can’t be late for work. Go get your keys.”

That really happened – exactly the way I just described it, too.

Jesus and I had many conversations. About anything and everything. And He was as real to me as if He were physically standing next to me. There were many times I felt I could just about see Him. I know a lot of Christians believe we should pray more, but we sadly miss the point. It’s not ‘prayer’ like you’d normally think of it.   It’s talking. Chatting. Having a conversation with someone you care about, and who cares about you. It’s that sharing thing you do with friends and family and spouses.

It’s so easy. It’s not mysterious or hard at all. It’s just communicating.

I remember talking with Him about my finances. “You know”, I said, “if I could just earn twice as much as I do now, I’d be able to pay my bills more easily”.   A couple of months later, I got transferred to a different department at work where I not only got an increase in my hourly rate but started earning bonuses. And guess what? You got it – my income doubled! Really. I’m not making this up.

And another time, I still remember when I was given – yes given – a beautiful spinning wheel by a truly kind-hearted lady.  I had found it on craigslist for $250. I thought I could just about handle spending that amount of money, so I called her and she brought it over for me to take a look at. We discovered there was a small piece missing, so she said she’d take the wheel, get it repaired, and then call me back and I could let her know then if I still wanted the wheel. A couple of weeks went by. When she called, she said, “you know, I was telling my daughter about you, and I decided I don’t want to sell the wheel – I want to give it to you.” Really. I’m not making this up either.

The things we think are just too small for God to care about are the things He does care about. He is our Father and He delights in taking care of us. We should let Him do it more often.

Oftentimes, we are so convinced we’re not that important, or that we can do it ourselves, we end up missing out on so much our Father wants to do on our behalf. When you’ve had the awesome privilege of experiencing God so near and so intimate, you cannot ever be the same, which brings me to my next epiphany.

I have discovered something life-changing – Jesus is my happily ever after.

And because of the intense preparation I went through there, I don’t feel rooted here. My eyes see beyond this temporary existence. My entire being longs for more than what is here. I remember reading a line in a book many years ago. I don’t recall the author’s name, but he said our lives here on earth are an unfinished symphony. What a beautiful word picture.

God made me into a storyteller, and along with that, He gave me the ability to see others’ pain and absorb their hurt. Which means, since I’m just human, I can get emotionally overwhelmed and physically exhausted.

And because of that, sometimes I need to come away and rest. Get unrushed. My Heavenly Father knows what I need. Just as Jesus told His disciples when they returned from preaching and healing – come away by yourselves and rest.

And get healed by the only true Healer so we can then go out and serve again.